Hello!
I know, I know – two emails in one week and the first being REALLY long (which I can tell was too long based on the number of people who said something like, “I started to read it and then saw I had to scroll down and stopped reading”). But I thought I would pass along a quick update on the internship, more specifically, what I think may be world class hazing … (particularly amazing #3 and #5) J
I am not sure if these events are intended as hazing or just a function of working at a larger company…
Computers need power? I was given a laptop but no power cord, so Tuesday morning I worked as long as I could until the computer died and set out to find a cord which took a mere 30 minutes of beg, borrowing and stealing…
Cubicles need power? When I finally got the cord and excitedly plugged it into my cube, the computer continued to function in it’s primary role as a paper weight. After more conversations and some experimenting, I learned my cubicle didn’t have power. How is that possible? Well, someone had systematically removed EVERY SINGLE POWER CORD from my cube…
You Lack Authorization – Not to be deterred, I tried calling the IT help desk to get assistance and discovered my phone doesn’t work. Borrowing my neighbor’s, I had a brief call with IT with the following dialogue:
Nick: My phone isn’t working in my cubicle and I’ve tried a variety of settings/cords/etc… can you help?
IT: Yeah, it looks like you aren’t authorized to have a telephone.
Nick: You mean a cellphone or the actual phone at my desk?!
IT: Yeah, no phone at all. You’ll need your manager to authorize a phone for you.
Nick: … … …
An Office Oasis – As I tried to busy myself with non-electrical, non-telephonic tasks, like using my abacus and washing clothes down by the steam, I thought I’d settle into my work space. Opening the first drawer, I discovered a large cache of water bottles and Kleenex. I can only conclude that these are supplies to help me through the numerous times I’ll curl up and cry under my desk. Evidence Below:
The Teletubies meet the Exorcist – Somehow I failed to think to thoroughly check and all aspects of my newly issued computer; but on day three through an accidental opening and closing of the CD drive. After a slight pause, what I can only describe as … the things that nightmares are made of… started to play. It seemed to be a cross between 1) Teletubey-like Arabic singing 2) an angry demon from Exorcist and 3) Buddhist chanting. For some reason, the CD picture is of grown men dressed as mice.
Linguistic Training – Thinking to hide in the world of day long online training, I logged into Medtronic’s software to discover someone had changed my settings to French. Still trying to find the button for English.
No-Way Pay-Day – Lastly, and I think may be a strong indicator that I am not actually intern and just randomly showed up… there were issues with payroll. I tried unsuccessfully to login twice every day since Monday, on Thursday I called HR to get help. I asked if I could update my address from my California apartment to Minneapolis, she said it was too late and offered the helpful suggestion: “Since the check has already been issued could you just swing by and pick it up?” I wasn’t really sure how to respond… so she took my silence as a maybe. She did offer to see what address it was being sent and came back with “Do you live at 7000 Medtronic Way?” … which, even though it was only my third day… I knew that was Medtronic’s World Headquarter address and I hope to God I won’t be living there!
So … we’ll see what adventures the rest of the summer bring!
Hope you are all doing well – I am off to my brother’s wedding!
Nick
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