Life of a Stay-At-Home-Classmate

Welcome to my website (aka Unemployment Project #1: Learn web design)!!!

I thought I this would be a good way to digitize, categorize and blah-blah-blah-ize what I have been doing and some lessons learned.

Job Search Lessons Learned

Lesson #1: In the Bay Area, if you did not matriculate from your undergrad with a degree in Computer Science or Engineering, you are less than human.   

While I secretly vowed I would never be a blogger, this little project was a great way to bone up on my technical skills for potential future employers.  Despite the hours I’ve poured into learning basic HTML and CSS (<- impressed?), its total effect on my resume is a single bullet… “Skills: Basic Web Design”…

Lesson #2: The job market is flooded with new, entirely made-up jobs and job titles that make me want to punch someone in the face.  

I have also spent a lot of time searching job boards, connecting with alumni, and consulting my Ouji board to find the perfect job.  It took me a while to figure out what I was qualified for and who would want to hire me, and I stumbled on to some bizarre opportunities along the way.

• Growth Hacker
• Vertical Catalyst Manager
• Chief Innovator
• Data Scientist – I thought this title was especially funny until a NY Times’ article listed their salary at $200k

Beyond the funny titles, I noticed a madlibs-like-strategy for picking job titles and thought I would provide you with a quick guide for determining if the job is right for you.

Lesson #3: If someone tells you to go home and think about your answer, they are putting your in interview timeout and you’re screwed.

I was interviewing with a cool startup for an analytical role and things seemed to be going well until the interviewer launched into two minute monologue about how if I wanted this role, I needed to love data, not just like it.  At the end of his speech, he took a deep breath and stared at me and I stared back… and we entered into the weirdest, longest staring contest of my adult life.  It was likely only 10 seconds long but it felt like eternity.  Eventually, I chimed in with the ultra-sophisticated remark,

“Well…I am not sure what to say now.”

The interview went on a little longer and it concluded with him assigning me a task,

“I want you to go home and think about if you really love data, and if you love it, email me tomorrow and we’ll move forward in the process.”

Needless to say, I haven’t heard back from that company.

 As you can imagine, I have countless more ridiculous stories I can share about my job experience, but I thought I would save them for future emails!

My Life As A Stay At Home Classmate

I am sure you are wondering between the moments of hilarity in my ongoing job search, how do I spend my time.  Well, thanks to a very gracious classmate, Porter Hall, and his fiancée, and Lauren Wilkerson, I am currently employed as a full-time “Stay at Home Classmate.”  Overall, it has been great and I’ve tried to keep my “Kroshus Footprint” (I think of it a lot like a “carbon footprint”) to a minimum.

However, as you can imagine, combining excess free time with a Type A personality has resulted in an over exuberant completion of tasks (e.g., I have organized the condiments in the refrigerator … twice; and, developed what I can only call a vacuuming and sweeping ‘best practice’ for their living room).

I also spend a lot of time with my new friend, Stan… their Olde English Bulldogge.  Part of the reason for writing this email was because Stan and I were having pretty lengthy conversations over the past week.. and then I realized I was talking to a dog.  Cause I am sure you want to know what my new homie looks like, pic below.